he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
