Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize