Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
