wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
