he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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