yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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