It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
