Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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