He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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