So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
