Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
