she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
