I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
