just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
