Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
