I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize