And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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