the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
