Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
