New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
