she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Define "chronic" masturbator.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
