I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
