Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize