I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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