After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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