But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
