I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
