I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
