Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
