Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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