this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
