Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
