i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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