You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
