bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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