Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
