What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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