i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
