I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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