she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
