well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
