oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
