lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
