Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
