i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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