Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
