her vagine was all disorganized.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
