He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
