Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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