i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
