Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize