when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
