I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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