we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
