turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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