i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
