im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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