Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
