I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
