The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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