Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
