I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
