physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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