i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
