Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize